Pearls of Parenthood

Ten “pearls of parenthood” for my son on his 27th birthday, his first as a new dad.

  1. Let love guide you. Asking what would love do never steers you wrong - as long as you include yourself in the question too.

  2. Trust yourself. No one knows your family better than you. Slow down enough to listen to your inner wisdom and let it guide you. Sometimes it might tell you to ask for support or guidance or wisdom from someone else. Trust that too.

  3. Trust and believe in your children. When you believe in them and trust them they learn to believe in themselves. That’s one of the best gifts you can give them.

  4. Be curious - you just might learn a lot from your children. When I have slowed down enough to listen and observe my children have been some of my best teachers.

  5. Be vulnerable - share your common humanity with your children. Let them see you make mistakes, overcome challenges, struggle as a human, change evolve and follow your dreams. They will encounter all these struggles in their own life. Be a human model and inspire them to believe they can solve problems, they aren’t defined by mistakes, and you can always begin again.

  6. Stay out of catastrophizing.

  7. Stay in loving amusement.

  8. Embrace uncertainty.

  9. Stay out of urgency and be in the moment.

  10. Remember every child is on their own journey on their own time. And not to a destination. The goal for all of us is a life well lived.

My aspiration as a parent is to have a connected lifelong relationship with my children. With this in mind, my last tip is to check in with your future self frequently. In five years how will you wish you had shown up for this moment? Your future self has your back and the long game in mind.

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