Beyond Overresponsibility, Over-functioning, and Overwhelm

Many of us who are high-functioning and capable take on too much.

We assume responsibility for everything—at work, at home, and in our relationships. In the short term, others may benefit from our efforts.

In the long term, no one truly wins.

We become exhausted, depleted, and overwhelmed, caught in a cycle of over-responsibility, over-functioning, over-commitment, and over-busyness.

When we release unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others, when we let go of what is not ours to hold, the noise quiets. The weight lifts. The relentless 'over-everything' begins to dissolve.

A life-changing practice is to clarify what is actually your job in every role you hold.

What are you truly responsible for?

And just as importantly—what is not your job?

It is not your job to keep everyone happy or comfortable. It is not your job to make people feel a certain way, to protect them from discomfort, or to fix all broken things. You are not responsible for owning other people’s challenges or outcomes, changing their behavior, or convincing them of anything. These burdens are not yours to carry.

So what is your job?

Your role is to love, to model, to show, to support. You are here to partner, to listen, to be aware, to facilitate. Your energy is best used in advising, connecting, inspiring, and teaching. Your work is to embody presence, to hold space, to guide with wisdom rather than control.

For those of us who lead and serve as physicians, the nuances of responsibility shift, yet the core truths remain.

Awareness, knowledge, diagnosing, educating, recommending—these are within our realm. But defending, fixing, and changing the behavior of others? These are not our jobs. Meeting the impossible expectations of patients or healthcare systems? Also not our job. And yet, so many of us unconsciously take on these roles, filling in the gaps of a broken system until we are left drained and depleted.

Releasing over-responsibility is an act of self-compassion.

It is an act of trust—trust in others to hold what is theirs, trust in yourself to focus on what truly matters, trust in the world to keep turning even when you are not holding everything together.

What might shift for you if you chose to step back?

If you allowed yourself to do less but with more presence? If you stopped carrying what was never yours to carry?

Pause. Breathe. Reflect.

And choose a different way forward—one where you hold only what is truly yours.