Do you feel like you have to take care of everyone and everything?

This may or may not be true, but either way, it is a very “expensive” thought.

It likely makes you feel overwhelmed, burdened, and perhaps even exhausted. It may also lead you to feel resentful, frustrated, isolated, and disconnected.

If you want to feel better, when this habit thought pops up - you could ask yourself, what else could you think instead?

• “I have a full life.”

• “There are many people and things I love and care about.”

You likely do have a very high level of responsibility in your family and at work. You likely also struggle with over-responsibility and toxic independence.

What you do is hard at baseline. The thought that “you have to do it all” and bear the full responsibility makes it harder.

• Do you take on responsibility and/or worry about things that aren't yours to fix and/or aren’t in your control? 

• Do you do things yourself because you are faster and better at them than others? 

• Do you then feel resentful because others are not helping out as much as you would like them to? 
  

Could you step back and let others step in and see what happens? 

Things won’t get done the way you would do it, and it will likely be fine. It might even be better. 

You might learn something and others might too. 

Catastrophe is unlikely to happen if you let go of control.

You can always go back to doing it all yourself later if you really want to. 

You can also ask better questions to feel less burdened

• What do others already take responsibility for? We are trained to focus on how they are not.

• What might they be really good at? What is their special skill set that could be helpful?

• What might they learn from learning how to do things that you do?

• Even if they have “failed” at helping in the past, what if they got it right this time?
  

  What if you chose to stop taking care of everyone and everything?

  What if you let go of control and your default MO of people-pleasing, perfectionism, over-responsibility, toxic independence, self-sacrifice, and martyrdom?

  Life just might be a lot lighter and a lot more joy-filled.