Doors Don’t Usually Close Because We Failed
"Doors don't usually close because you have failed. They close because something bigger than us says it is no longer a fit."
Four years ago today, at exactly this hour, I walked out of my pediatric office for a four month sabbatical. I had no idea what was ahead for me or what an incredible journey I was about to embark on.
I wasn’t burnt out. I loved taking care of children and families.
I was not planning to “leave medicine" and I haven’t actually left. I now practice a different kind of medicine in a different way. I heal the healers and am a doctor for doctors and for the practice of medicine — almost all day every day.
Doors do not close because we have fallen short or made a mistake. Very often they close because something within us declares unmistakably that we are destined and ready for something else.
We outgrow things even as adults.
Four years ago today, I had a deep inner knowing that I was being “called” to make an impact beyond the exam room.
I knew that within me I had “potent medicine” to offer to my colleagues and the practice of medicine.
I didn’t "yet" know what it would look like or if, or how, I would do “it.”
I hoped I was brave enough to step into my “zone of genius” to create "it."
I had been working on sustainability, satisfaction, and health for physicians (physician wellness) within the confines of my big institution for years. What had been bubbling up within me for five years were outside-the-box approaches that I knew would work but that required nimbleness, focus, and significant time, energy, passion, and creativity. What was bubbling up was not possible or achievable doing what I was doing where I was doing it.
I was being called to bring into existence “exactly what I knew my colleagues needed.” And as I reflect today, this is what I have created. And it is getting better and better over time. It is becoming more potent, more effective, more targeted, and more fun.
I have had many opportunities to “go back.”
Yet I continue to be called to move forward. To shine my light more brightly, farther and wider.
I loved being a passionate, kind, wise and fun pediatrician and physician leader for almost 20 years.
I love being the founder of a successful, innovative, mindful, authentic and aligned business that is making an impact, activating ripples, and bringing me and many others joy.
There is no scarcity of opportunities for impact and making the world a better place.
Many people think I had a prescribed plan. I didn’t. I followed my heart and my intuition.
Many people ask me what is "my recipe" for success. I don’t have one.
Many people believe I have a secret trust fund. I wish.
I was simply brave and courageous. I believed in myself and my vision. And I decided to trust myself and the process.
During my sabbatical, I slowed down enough to listen, and it became eminently clear that I couldn’t not follow a new path.
What would the world and I miss out on if I dimmed my light and didn’t follow my intuition and calling "in this season" of my career?
What lesson would I be sharing with my children if I didn’t act on what I knew I was meant to be doing.
Once you see something, you can’t unsee it.
Since that pause, every day I have shown up bravely and courageously, shining my light and sharing my wisdom from the heart,
with passion, kindness, and love.
The recipe, if there is one, is a love of variety, creativity, and change,
a commitment to authenticity and alignment at all costs,
and a deep desire to care for others–in this case mostly my colleagues and the practice of medicine.
After four years, the length of a college education, I have learned and grown as much as I did, if not more than I did at Dartmouth.
Today, I am even more steadfast in my commitment to Pause & Presence and the creative amazing possibilities ahead for all of us.
I am grateful to myself for being willing to embrace the calling and grateful to so so many of you who have supported me along the way.
I can't wait to see what the next four years bring.