“Allowing” Takes Much Less Energy Than Resisting

The nickname my kids used to use for me was “Mama Bear.”

And it wasn’t a term of endearment. 

I was a worrier who wanted to ensure everything turned out ok for them.

I have become a much more loving, present, and a much much less worried  "Mama Bear"  

Now I  show up most of the time with love, calm, compassion, presence, acceptance, and connection rather than worry, stress, and anxiety — even in very stressful situations.

From a place of love, I used to worry and try to fix and control as much as I could. My doctor-mom fix-it tendencies were well-honed over years of medical training. They also dated back to my childhood- when I was the “responsible” one.

What I understand clearly now is that when we try to control things out of our control, we feel anxious, and often irritable, and we don’t show up as the mom we aspire to be. 

“Allowing” takes much less energy than resisting.

Acceptance eases your journey.  

Even when things are not as you would like. 

Our job is to keep our children from danger. 

Not be a snowplow.

Our job is to guide and nurture and love them but not to keep them from making any mistakes. 

Learning and growth come from mistakes and wishing you had done it differently. 

Showing up with equanimity, calm, and acceptance takes much less energy than trying to control everything around you.  It also usually leads to better outcomes and definitely more enjoyment of the process.