Change Your Worry Gene

My nickname used to be “Mama Bear.” And it wasn’t a term of endearment.

I have become a much more loving "Mama Bear" through mindfulness.

Now I show up most of the time with love, calm, compassion, presence, acceptance and connection

rather than worry, stress, and anxiety, even in very stressful situations.

I used to worry and try to fix and control as much as I could for everyone I loved.

My doctor-mom fix-it tendencies were well-honed over years of medical training.

They even dated back to childhood- when I was the “responsible” one.

What I understand so clearly now is that when I try to control things out of our control, I feel anxious, often irritable, and I don’t show up as the mom we aspire to be.

“Allowing” takes much less energy than resisting.

Acceptance eases your journey.

Even when things are not as you would like.

Our job is to keep our children from danger. Not be a snowplow.

Our job is to guide and nurture and love

but not to keep them from making mistakes.

The learning and growth comes from mistakes and wishing you had done things differently.

I have learned through mindfulness and coaching

and practice

that showing up with equanimity, calm and acceptance

takes much less energy than trying to control everything around you.

In the end, it also usually leads to better outcomes and definitely more enjoyment of the process.

I originally wrote a version of this blog last year —when my son was diagnosed with covid.

Being able to show up with equanimity in that moment was a huge win.

Interestingly, it’s actually often harder for me to show up with equanimity for ongoing frustrations and struggles that are not a crisis.

When it's a long term issue requiring a journey of patience and acceptance, the uncertainty often lasts longer. When the outcome may not be known for years- the equanimity is harder ground into. And even more impactful.

Working to change your “worry gene”helps a lot. Join me to learn how.