Love is Presence

I have done a lot of work over the last few years on myself through coaching and mindfulness.

One of the most powerful and positive impacts has been on my relationships.

I thought I was a pretty good parent and wife before.

My kids have turned out “pretty well” - at least so far.

I have “managed” stayed married for 27 years.

We had good times and great times and not so good times and bad times.

But I also saw parenting as a lot of work.

And I “worked” at my marriage.

I didn’t often pause and be present and fully enjoy the incredible moments along the way.

I looked ahead and behind- all the time.

Physicians are trained to do this.

I had high expectations for everyone and everything - vacations, my children, holidays, date night...

I put so much effort and love in - all the time.

I thought outcomes should reflect that.

My job as a phsyician was to influence outcomes.

In that spirit and with good intention, I would try to control things that were out of my control.

Especially for those that I loved

Mindfulness and coaching have changed me

and as a result, they changed life for those around me also.

When you change yourself everything changes.

We are ALL enjoying the journey more. Especially me.

What’s important is still getting done.

But there is more energy and time for connection and forward movement.

When given space, magical things start to emerge and happen,

and you notice and experience them.

The little things become amazing.

When you pause and are present for all the moments- the good and the bad you notice and fully experience all the moments.

The beauty is in the journey.

I have stopped trying to fix everything for everyone.

I am the only one responsible for my happiness.

I can use my voice to ask for what I want and to share my wisdom, but I am no longer attached to the outcome.

I remain perfectly imperfect at all this.

I am very much a work in progress as are my loved ones.

But what a difference mindful presence makes.

When I show up for my relationships with less expectation and non judgment,

Not trying to control,

everyone else around me starts to show up this way too.

When I pause and am present in the moment, I have more energy, there is more connection and joy, and I feel so much more abundant.

So much can change without anyone or anything outside of me actually having to change.