Of Course You Are Reactive

If you are irritable and reactive you are more than likely exhausted, depleted, and burnt out.

You are likely not broken or toxic.

If you are short, angry, and/or feel disconnected,

consider it an alarm.

We think anger, reactivity, and frustration are a problem to be fixed.

Rather than beating yourself up and judging yourself for being reactive and angry, be kind.

These behaviors are an alarm or a signal that you need to tend to something.

That your needs are not being met.

Your parasympathetic nervous system needs attention.

Your sympathetic nervous system is on overdrive.

We often think anger, disconnection, and lack of presence mean there is something wrong with us or our situation.

What if anger is a clue?

Anger lets you know something needs to change.

We usually want someone else to change so we don't “have to be” angry.

Shifting anger and irritability into productive action is possible.

It starts by stepping out of blame, shame, and guilt and stepping into mindfulness- especially noticing, curiosity, nonjudgement, and compassion.

Rather than beating yourself up for your perceived shortcomings,

and responding to your anger with anger, self-loathing, blame, shame, and guilt,

pause and breathe.

And take some time to tend to your inner needs.

What do you need to be less irritable and angry?

Design a plan to rest and restore.

Try mindful yoga, yin yoga, and restorative yoga.

Put your feet up against the wall for 10 minutes.

Develop a hand-to-heart practice.

Take up mindfulness in some way.

Even as little as 5 minutes of headspace (or the like) can make a big difference.

Your irritability and anger indicate that you are likely at, or over capacity.

Getting help helps.

There are so many tools to help.

Start somewhere.

Include yourself in the caring.

Anger is a clue, and a message.

Pause, listen, and be kind.

Take action to refill, restore, and replenish yourself and balance out your nervous system.

It’s then, from a place of inner calm and repleteness that you can begin to respond rather than react,

and see clearly what other changes are needed

When you tend to yourself well, nourish yourself fully and include yourself in the caring. you can move forward with mindful intention toward something better.

PS - retreats are the best, most effective, and most efficient way I know to rebalance your nervous system and reset, replenish and restore.

Join me at Sagrada this spring to learn how to see anger, irritability, and reactivity as a clue, replenish replete and restore. Calm, deliberate, equanimous forward momentum awaits.