What To Do When It Doesn’t Turn Out Better You Think

As most of my followers know, I intentionally practice thinking that things just might turn out better than I expect.

I do this in order to neutralize the default catastrophic thinking and negativity bias that I am such an expert at after 20 years as a physician.

And still, sometimes things don't turn out better than I expect. Sometimes they turn out worse.

That’s life.

And these situations are almost always out of our control.

When this happens, what can we do?

1. Focus on what is in our control. Choose not to ruminate and let go of what isn’t in our control, especially the past.

2. Accept and ... allow, be pissed, frustrated, sad....whatever you choose --but stop resisting.

3. Stop judging - stay out of blame, shame, guilt, and cortisol overload

4. Be curious, not furious- and ask good questions.

5. Make good choices

   1. Choose with intention what you want to do, say, think, and feel.

   2. Reach out to friends, be vulnerable, and ask for help

   3. Get coaching​

6. Live in the moment - learn how to be mindful.

This is just the beginning of the coaching tools to help in these situations.

Whether it’s cancer, divorce, infidelity, job loss, an unexpected outcome, or a lawsuit, there is an abundance of tools that work to ease the journey.

Implementing these tools is never easy.

It’s not supposed to be.

Big scary moments are supposed to feel bad.

One big thing in your control is to gift yourself support to learn about and implement tools that nourish, heal, and support you.

One of these tools is group coaching- virtual or in-person at a Sagrada retreat.

"Your retreat at Sagrada is a huge part of the reason that I’ve come through this breast cancer scare intact and ok.

You helped me to ask the good questions and make the good choices.

You helped me to say I accept what is happening but I can still be pissed off about it. Women from the retreat have been lifelines to me.  

You taught me to live in the moment and love what I have.

I can’t wait to see you in November for Sagrada, 2.0 "

I hope that things will continue to turn out better than you expect. I will continue to practice thinking this because it usually it does and if and when it doesn’t I will never wish I had been worrying if it was going to turn out badly before.

And in the inevitable moments when things turn out worse, I will go back to my coaching tools and skills.

My wish for you is that you too will have these at the ready for the moments when you need them too.