Why Should You Be the One to Change?

You should be the one to change because you want things to change.

Yet in relationships when we struggle, we often ask this question.

I did. For a long time.

We want our partners, and even colleagues and bosses and friends, and other family members to change so we can feel better.

At a minimum, I wanted my spouse and my colleagues and my kids to “meet me in the middle” and make “equal compromises.” I felt justified in this thought.

The reality of it is they may change or they may not.

They may try and not end up doing it the way you think they “should.”

They may change, perhaps even exactly how you thought they “should,” and you may or may not feel better.

When you leave the change to someone else there are lots of unknowns and lots of uncertainty. It’s out of your control.

Waiting for someone else to change so you can feel better is a form of getting in your own way.

When you change yourself, you know you can feel better.

Changing yourself is getting out of your own way.

You should also decide be the one to change because it only takes ONE person to change to completely transform a relationship.

Change yourself and you are back in the drivers seat of your own experience of your life and your relationships. Who doesn’t want that?

And when you change, everything around you begins to change.

This is usually a good thing when things haven't been going as you want them to.

Change is inevitable.

Why not “be the change you want to see” rather than being a ping pong ball reacting to whatever happens to come your way.

What is the kicker? Changing yourself, seeing how you are getting in your own way and learning to step aside is not easy. Change is hard. Getting help helps. We all need help in life. Don’t be shy. It’s worth it