50/50
Life is 50/50.
Jobs are 50/50.
Relationships are 50/50.
50 % good. 50% bad.
Not every day, but on balance.
Some Days are great.
Some days are awful.
Some years are great.
Some not so much.
Our brains tell us we are supposed to be happy all the time.
Facebook tells us everyone else is happy most of the time.
And yet....that is not reality for anyone I know.
When we expect or even want a job, a career, relationship, and life to feel good almost all the time, we inevitably end up disappointed and frustrated much of the time.
Same with parenting and same with marriages.
We can make things worse than 50/50 with our thoughts and stories about them.
This is when we struggle about our struggles.
Spin and ruminate.
We can also learn to feel better and experience the same 50/50 in a more positive way. We can let go of the "shoulds".
We can accept, allow and experience it all.
"Even when we don't like it" as though of you who coach with me know I love to say.
We can be mindful.
We can live in the present.
The contrast between the good and bad also brings benefit.
It is what brings color and beauty to life.
Think how clear and sparkly and beautiful everything seems after a storm.
Being newly in love feels great because it is new and is in contrast to being alone or heartbroken after a failed relationship.
If everything were neutral all the time, how would you feel?
Learning to embrace the 50/50 takes attention and intention. A very popular previous blog post of mine-- link in comments if you missed it.
Can you start embracing the 50/50? Even in 2020 there is 50/50.
Be in the present.
Feel the feelings so you you can experience the contrast and full spectrum living.
But let go of the struggle about the struggle.
I am practicing this today.
Yesterday I learned one of my young adult sons is likely ill with covid and a friend's husband died at age 50 of a pulmonary emboli.
These are both part of the 50/50 and the journey of life.
Accepting this doesn't mean they aren't worrisome or sad. Or that I don’t have compassion. But that I can accept them as part of the 50/50 and choose not experience them in a way that doesn’t increase the struggle.
I am choosing to practice mindfulness and presence. Allowing sadness and worry to show up when they do. Showing compassion for myself and the suffering of others.
Someone told me yesterday that it took them 10 years to figure something out that with a guide likely would have gone much faster.
Don't wait 10 years to figure 50/50 one out.
Practicing and living the concept has completely changed my life.
If you want help to get there faster... reach out.