Figuring Out Mother's Day

This was my 23rd Mother’s Day. I am proud to share that this so far has been my best. Not because of what anyone else did for me but because of how I showed up.

I have done a lot work over the last few years on myself through coaching and mindfulness . One of the most powerful and positive impacts has been on my parenting.

I thought I was a decent parent before. And my kids turned out pretty well. But I also saw parenting as a lot of work. I didn’t often pause and enjoy the incredible moments along the way. I spent a lot of time looking ahead and behind. And I had high expectations— feedback my kids have given me recently. I thought it was my job to influence outcomes. So much of which are out of my control.

What is different now? Me. To start, I have learned to pause and be present for all the moments- the good and the bad. This is where the beauty is. I have stopped trying to fix everything for everyone. I have learned I can only control myself and that I am the only one responsible for my happiness or whether I feel loved or appreciated. I have learned to use my voice to ask for what I want and to share my wisdom but I am no longer attached to the outcome. I remain perfectly imperfect at all of these new skills and am still a work in progress (as we all are) but wow what a difference these make when I get them right.

When I show up for my family with less expectation and not trying to control anything, everyone else starts to show up this way too. When I pause and am present in the moment, everything starts to bloom around me.

My day yesterday included co-teaching yoga with my oldest son for a group of doctors and their kids, a trip to the farmers market with my middle son, family lunch comprised of our bounty followed by a dog walk in golden gate park. Then my son offered to safely deliver some farmers market bounty to my mom.

So many of us think it is our job as moms to hold everything together. Sometimes letting go reaps even more amazing rewards.