Handling Different Opinions with Grace

As the holidays approach, some helpful thoughts on challenging family relationships.

Many of our family members have different opinions on politics, covid safety, child rearing, how to cook a turkey and so much more.

Our loved ones often also have different ideas about communication, how to show love, and sometimes even what's appropriate dress for the dinner table.

I work to show up for all this with intentional love and compassion.

I focus on the fact that I, and they, are imperfect humans.

My own behavior is all that is in my control.

And that self-care is essential.

Other useful strategies:

Accept and Allow. Accept your family members as they are and you as you are — with “grace and compassion.” We are all imperfect and “a work in progress.”

“When we fight reality we lose 100% of the time. “

Whatever is part of your reality right now just is. You don’t have to like it but resisting its existence doesn’t help.

Validate your loved one’s feelings whether they are anxiety, stress, fear, frustration, loneliness, or disappointment.

It's not your work to fix or change them.

Even if you happen to be a doctor.

Share your medical advice when needed.

And parental advice when necessary.

And then step back.

Don't forget to validate your own feelings and struggles also.

All feelings and emotions are allowed.

Allow frustration, irritation, anger, and disbelief when needed.

It passes through you with more ease when you don't resist.

Be Intentional.

Clean up your own mental clutter.

Try not to do “drama.”

Choose how you want to feel.

Take a stand for who you want to be in your relationships.

I want to be mindful, intentional and someone I am proud of.

What would love do? Model vulnerability and problem solve. And be curious.

What are you making their behavior mean? Could their behavior mean something else?

How are they showing you love and commitment, even when it looks different than you think it should?

How are they "Just like You"? Just like asking what would love to do, this question creates bridges when they are hard to find.

When searching for how they are just like me, I go back to the idea that almost everyone wants to be heard, accepted, supported, loved, and safe. It's the different interpretations of the how of this that are getting in the way.

When all else fails, turn to humor. It helps a lot.

If relationships cause you to struggle, join me for coaching. It helps A LOT.