It’s a Long Game

Cliff Notes from a Mindful Coaching Session for Parents of Teens and Young Adults

We and they are imperfect humans.

As parents we are building lifelong relationships with future adults. The adult relationship with our children is hopefully even longer than the first 18 years. Our job as parents is to guide, advise, keep them as safe as possible, and love them for exactly who they are.

Mindful Relationships are about YOU.

Your own behavior is all that is in your control.

It only takes one to change a relationship.

Parental self care is essential.

Accept and Allow.

Accept that it is an unusual time with lots of uncertainty and challenge for all.

Accept your teens as they are and you as you are — with “grace and compassion.” We are all imperfect and “a work in progress” and they and their amygdala are still developing.

“When we fight reality we lose 100% time. “ Adhd, anxiety, depression, screens, and Covid are part of our reality right now. We don’t have to like them but resisting their existence doesn’t help.

Validate their feelings including anxiety, stress, fear, anger, and disappointment- rather than trying to fixing them. Validate your own feelings and struggles too.

Be Intentional.

Clean up your own mental clutter.

Choose how you want to feel.

Take a stand for who you want to be in your relationships. Be mindful, intentional and someone you are proud of. Show lots of love.

Model vulnerability and problem solving.

Create space.

Be Curious.

Notice and Be Aware.

What are you making their behavior mean? Could their behavior mean something else?

How do they actually show you love and commitment? Focus on this instead of the “shoulds."

How are they "Just like You"? We all want to be heard, accepted, supported, loved, and safe.

Below are a few more related blog posts

https://www.jessiemahoneymd.com/jessies-blog/the-shoulds

https://www.jessiemahoneymd.com/jessies-blog/figuring-out-mothers-day

https://www.jessiemahoneymd.com/jessies-blog/yoga-and-parenting