I share this quote in my Parenting with Presence program. It applies not just to our children but to all our life relationships- with our spouses, our own parents, our siblings, etc…

What would love do in a neurodiverse relationship?

Love would honor me, my personality, and my wishes and desires.

It’s possible to go from struggling

to managing

to living more easefully

to feeling engaged and connected.

As humans, without mind management, we tend to focus on the negative, our differences, and what is not working. Many of us also have a lot of tendencies to blame -ourselves and others, and quickly revert to guilt, shame, victimhood, anger, and resentment. Coaching helps you shift your perspective, ask better questions, build self-compassion, and find peace with your decisions and path forward whatever they may be. Coaching sets you up for success and peace.

When we lean into the beauty of the good we have in our relationships, we experience more good.

There are lots of different models of amazing and worthwhile relationships in this world. Without a doubt, every relationship is missing something. When we let go of comparisons with others' relationships, those who we perceive may have more of what we think we want, and we enjoy our own more.

Could you resist the urge to believe there is a relationship out there that would be better and make you happier?

Could you trust the you who chose this relationship when you chose it?

What if you choose to tell a story about it that feels good and helps you enjoy your life?

Doing the work on you and your own mind can help you find a harmonious place in your relationships even when the other person - teen- young adult or otherwise- isn’t in a space to be able to or doesn’t want to make changes.

Accepting and allowing your teens, young adult children, and partners- as they are and you as you are — with “grace and compassion.” is a beautiful strategy.

We are all imperfect and “a work in progress.”

Your relationship with your adult children is longer than your relationship with your children as kids and there is a lot of time to get it right and wrong. And it usually turns out fine either way.

There is no failure just learning. Sometimes there is more learning when it doesn't go right than when it does.

Mindfulness and coaching have helped me become a much better parenting teammate. Supporting your teammates and playing to their strengths is a great strategy. Micromanaging and criticizing usually don't lead to the best team experience or results.

Autism may seem like a negative. But as coaching teaches you- it is merely a neutral fact.

Some days our neurodiverse marriage is a fact that feels like a heavy brick, and I wish it was different. On other days it feels like a gift.

Because of our neurodiversity, I have had to grow in ways I didn't know I needed or wanted to. And that growth was good. In fact, it was amazing.

It's good and bad. Like everything in life.

What if it turns out better than you expect? It can and often does.

At the moment, it all seemed “bad” and overwhelming. I could not see the way forward or a way through.

Today I see that it has turned out amazing. Clearly, it happened exactly as it was supposed to.

I wanted peace, love, and connection. So I shifted and offered space.

I showed up connecting and peacefully- as if we had all the time in the world for us to move forward.

And I showed up with love. Not just in my mind but in my actions. With a hug and telling him I loved him.

And then….

Breathing deeply and channeling my inner zen and buoyancy. Even on round 3 of parenting a teenager -as a wise pediatrician with mindfulness and coaching tools deeply rooted within — the journey is a journey.

I had the best vacation this week. I say this not to brag. But to share the secret. And to my dear family who reads this please don’t take offense. It is a reflection on being human and my own evolution...not on any of you.