Why Not "Call It Quits"?

I got an email asking this question the other day. 

The question was specifically about a relationship but it also applies to many other things.

It may seem that with all my sharing about “the grass being greener,”

enjoying “a cup of love,”

and “dancing in the rain”

that I espouse staying in a relationship over not. 

I don’t espouse staying or going. 

I espouse being mindful and cleaning up your mind so you have the tools and strategies to enjoy and live into whatever decision you intentionally make.

After working with a coach, I chose to stay in my relationship and change my career.

I made these choices in alignment with my values and life desires in this season of my life. I made the decision after becoming clear that I was responsible for my own happiness wherever I chose to go and whoever I chose to be with. 

Coaching doesn't tell you the “right” answer or encourage you to make one choice or another. 

A good coach helps you make your choices mindfully, compassionately, and intentionally.

From the heart.

And then once you have made a choice to have your own back.  A coach helps you know how to be steadfast about making whatever decision you made the right one. 

You learn that at any point you can make a different decision. Every step is a pivot. Change is a direction, not a destination. A pivot in a different direction is not because you made a mistake but because something different is authentically your next move. 

Coaching helps you explore what you truly with “clean” thinking and  “clean” emotions.   It helps settle the swirling snow globe of thoughts such as “I don’t know what to do”, “what if it turns out badly” or …. It also helps you see what is actually in your control and to focus on that. When we try to control things out of our control- our anxiety rises and we often get stuck in indecision.

With coaching, whichever choice you choose about a relationship or a job/career,  you own that you are doing so with full agency and with the intention to move towards something that you truly want rather than “running away” from something, “giving up” or “quitting.” Knowing it won’t be better there than here- it will be different.

Your journey forward is much more peaceful and grounded when you decide to leave or to make a change not because where you are is “a problem” but because you truly want and desire something different for your future.  This is true for jobs, careers, and relationships.

Without coaching when you make a choice you bring your current brain and its habitual thought patterns with you.  Many of these old patterns won’t serve you well in finding happiness in your new/next venture.

As humans, without mind management, we tend to focus on the negative, our differences, and what is not working.   Many of us also have a lot of tendencies to blame -ourselves and others, and quickly revert to guilt, shame, victimhood, anger, and resentment.  

Coaching helps you shift your perspective, ask better questions, build self-compassion, and find peace with your decisions and path forward whatever they may be.

Coaching sets you up for success and peace.  

So  —-

when you hear in my voice, a decision to dance in the rain, or to notice the cups of love, or to enjoy what's working in my business, it is because I have chosen where I am and I am making the decisions I have chosen the “right” one for today. This is what brings peace, connection, calm, clarity, and a life better-lived.