Staying in places, jobs, and relationships with people, and things and that no longer “fit” you have a tremendous cost.

Loving well is the legacy I want to leave.

It is also what I aspire to help others do.

The birthdays of those you love are a moment to pause and be present and reflect and appreciate.

And as I sat down to do just this, I was inspired by the fact that The Mindful Healers Podcast episode released this week is called “Allowing Joy.”

Some of us have to work at allowing joy, my husband is an expert at it. He does it effortlessly.

Barriers may be disguised as busyness, a real or perceived issue with your partner, old stories, resentments, “what’s ifs” in your mind, sometimes even a lack of feeling of deserving in yourself.

Coaching and mindfulness have helped me see more of my barriers and begin to let them go.

Pausing and being present was the first step. Then the work was to notice and begin to peel away the barriers with mindful intention and compassion.

As humans, without mind management, we tend to focus on the negative, our differences, and what is not working. Many of us also have a lot of tendencies to blame -ourselves and others, and quickly revert to guilt, shame, victimhood, anger, and resentment. Coaching helps you shift your perspective, ask better questions, build self-compassion, and find peace with your decisions and path forward whatever they may be. Coaching sets you up for success and peace.

When we lean into the beauty of the good we have in our relationships, we experience more good.

There are lots of different models of amazing and worthwhile relationships in this world. Without a doubt, every relationship is missing something. When we let go of comparisons with others' relationships, those who we perceive may have more of what we think we want, and we enjoy our own more.

Could you resist the urge to believe there is a relationship out there that would be better and make you happier?

Could you trust the you who chose this relationship when you chose it?

What if you choose to tell a story about it that feels good and helps you enjoy your life?

Doing the work on you and your own mind can help you find a harmonious place in your relationships even when the other person - teen- young adult or otherwise- isn’t in a space to be able to or doesn’t want to make changes.

Accepting and allowing your teens, young adult children, and partners- as they are and you as you are — with “grace and compassion.” is a beautiful strategy.

We are all imperfect and “a work in progress.”

Your relationship with your adult children is longer than your relationship with your children as kids and there is a lot of time to get it right and wrong. And it usually turns out fine either way.

There is no failure just learning. Sometimes there is more learning when it doesn't go right than when it does.

Mindfulness and coaching have helped me become a much better parenting teammate. Supporting your teammates and playing to their strengths is a great strategy. Micromanaging and criticizing usually don't lead to the best team experience or results.

So grateful for all that you have given me. I continue to learn who I am, and what I want.

I am not waiting for someone else to get me where I want to go I am here, right now, and living, breathing, and recognizing. I remember 50/50 often, but also focus on the legacy I want to leave behind, and have way less "shoulds."

Mindfulness and coaching allow me to see this and then to live it with those I love. It is especially helpful in my neurodiverse marriage and with my mother.

Once again I am back to my guiding words for 2021– love, abundance, grounded, and proud.

When I chose these words I did not understand how they would —and should —seep deeply into every nook and cranny of my life.

Bringing mindfulness to my relationship and learning to show up intentionally helped me navigate more smoothly through mental health challenges, physical health challenges, neurodiversity, job transitions, toddlers, Adhd, teenagers, and 2020.

Parenting young adults in a pandemic is both messy and beautiful.

Young adult children and teenagers are wonderful and they don’t always do things as you think they should.

They are just like all people.