What Would Peace Do?
Follow up on my teenager-mom “drama” from last week.
The last three days have been calm, peaceful, and even fun and connected.
Reminding me of the 50/50 ... life is good AND bad.
Choosing to think this and not acknowledging the process and the learnings along the way, does not give me credit for my intentionally mindful approach, adaptability, learning, and success. Parenting teens is a bumpy ride… why not celebrate my success?
So,
on Tuesday morning, 36 hours after the rough Sunday night —there was still discord.
I thought he was still cranky.
He said I was the cranky one
We were both right.
My manual said he should have moved on by now and been “nice” at dinner.
My manual said he should not always take an oppositional approach.
That he should be “curious and not furious.”
And- by choosing to think this I was not being curious and I was being oppositional.
Underneath, I still thought it was his fault ... and that if he would “move on” I would feel better.
What if I decided to just feel better?
Just let it BE
and me BE
even with the discomfort of different opinions.
Discomfort was going to be there either way. Why not have it be the price of growth for both us.
I wanted him to move on but I hadn’t moved on yet.
I wanted him to truly see my point of view but I hadn’t truly seen his yet.
I wanted peace, love, and connection but I wasn’t showing up that way.
I wasn’t showing up with a peace offering.
I wasn’t showing up connected.
And I wasn’t showing up offering love.
“Be the change you want to see.”
I wanted peace, love, and connection.
So I shifted and offered space.
I showed up connecting and peacefully- as if we had all the time in the world for us to move forward.
And I showed up with love. Not just in my mind but in my actions. With a hug and telling him I loved him.
And then,
The next day I got eggs made for me in between clients, dishwashers emptied, and conversation. A huge win with a 15 year old son.
Connection, peace and love.
Followed by today- driving lesson, shared french fries at In and Out, and help at Trader Joes.
In the space, I created by showing up with peace, love, and connection instead of trying to fix—- things fixed themselves. Or perhaps there was nothing needing fixing.
“Momming” teens is a journey. A journey of love and learning. One that takes ongoing practice. And constant use of our minds and mindfulness.
If you want to work on employing these tools in your life, reach out. Helping you show up with love, peace and connection so you can find more love peace and connection with your loved ones is my passion. I am a nurturing, loving, wise and skilled guide for the journey. If you would like to do this work in community, join me for Mindful Love- my signature relationship coaching program that starts June 7th.
What’s Mindful Love Like?
“It was fantastic to get to watch others being coached. I felt so much compassion for everyone. I also loved how you started with the question of “what makes (this relationship) amazing?” and ended with focusing on having appreciation for the relationship. And how everything in between was a fascinating dance of how we and they show up, perfectly imperfect but trying our best in our own little human way, like playing hide and seek with the connection that’s already there between two people who love each other. Just beautiful.”