Lessons from Neurodiverse Love

“Little did I know in the end you would be one of my greatest teachers.

I love how life always gives us what we need most.

And life gave me you.”

-- Janet Archer

I share this quote in my Parenting with Presence program. It applies not just to our children but to all our life relationships- with our spouses, our own parents, our siblings, etc…

What would love do in a neurodiverse relationship?

Love would honor me, my personality, and my wishes and desires.

Love would also honor my neurodiverse partners’ desires, personality, and wishes too.

He is not right and I am not right.

We are different.

Love would let him be exactly who he is- without judgment or needing him to be more like I want him to be.

Love would let him do what he does well.

And it would let me do what I do well.

Love doesn’t have to understand or see things in the same way.

Abundance would notice what works and what I love about him—exactly as he is.

When I feel triggered or confused —I can remember that I am human and so is he.

This makes me feel grounded.

When I am grounded— I do not feel like a victim and he is not a villain-—-which of course he is not.

Seeing him, or anyone who thinks differently than you, as a partner and/or teammate who has different ideas or strategies to win, succeed, and love feels much better than being adversaries.

Choosing to put down the heavy backpack of struggle in my marriage has been life-changing.

If you want a guide to help you navigate a challenging loving relationship, whether it is with a neurodiverse partner, a mother, a sibling, or someone else who thinks differently than you, reach out.

Life and love are much better on the other side.