The Secret to Great Vacation

I had the best vacation this week.

I say this not to brag. But to share the secret. And to my dear family who reads this please don’t take offense. It is a reflection on being human and my own evolution...not on any of you.

I didn’t travel far.

It wasn’t a super long trip- 5 days.

I didn’t go to Bora Bora, or somewhere fancy or exotic.

I wasn’t a kid, or in my case, a teenager-free vacation.

I did go somewhere with a yoga studio and in nature - 2 of my favorite things — but I honestly did not use the yoga studio as much as I thought I would or wanted to. And I saw only a small portion of the beautiful nature all around.

I also went with family ages 4-78. This included many in-laws and potential in-laws and teens and young adults and a toddler. They are all lovely humans but clearly, lots of different needs wants and opinions present. About covid, politics, relationships, food, what’s fun and so much more.

What made it fabulous?

My approach to it.

I spent the week acting from a place of mindful intention and purposefully managing my mind.

Choosing to do "what love would do" at every turn.

I was able to let go of old habitual not helpful “trouble-maker” thoughts whenever they popped up and get back to enjoying the moment.

Because of the pandemic, I and everyone else was filled with gratitude and appreciation for being able to be together. This is an abundant mindset and it always helps. Noticing what’s great, fabulous, and amazing instead of what's not or what needs fixing or is missing is a powerful tool for enjoyment. One that I have only recently become skilled at. I plan to keep purposely growing this mindset as time goes on.

I also took a lot of time by myself this week to be mindful and to pause and be present. And notice the beauty of the small things- a tree, the breeze, the light, a flower, the warmth of the sun, the view, someone’s laugh. I took lots of breaks to sit and be. And I focused on doing less and enjoying more.

I intentionally noticed- in the busy moments — meals, decisions about who was going where and teaching my teen to drive— how I was feeling. And I paused right there.

In the space between stimulus and response- that is where my power and control lay. As did the joy.

Curiosity was magical.

I share this with all of you because these tools work.

And when you practice, you up-level, and it gets even better.

What else made it great?

This week I didn’t worry about others. Or try to control anything.

This was not out of a lack of care or being selfish. It was because I care.

When I focused my attention on what would make me happy and fill my cup and gave others the chance to join me or not, I brought more joy and ease to the journey. Instead of waiting for others to anticipate my wants or agree on a plan, or even making one that I thought they would like, I planned what I wanted and asked for what I wanted.

Asking for help with the dishes, for company on a walk, or to join me for a kayak was simple.

As was detaching from the outcome.

In the space this created, more of my adult children joined me for hikes and adventures than ever before. And the dishes got done.

I also didn’t have “a manual” for the vacation or anyone on it.

Those of you who coach with me are smiling at this- vacations are filled with manuals of what “should” happen —- expectations of the trip and others.

This week, I allowed everyone to just be themselves. Exactly as they are. I appreciated that -on purpose. When my brain went back to its old habits of judging and wanting to respond or be snarky, I chose to turn it off. And get back to curiosity and enjoying.

Did I get it all perfect? - no.

Would my kids or husband say I was perfect? - no.

Did everything go well?- nope

But I am choosing not to remember or even notice those parts.

When you stop focusing on what isn’t going well, it becomes not an issue.

Not instantly --but fast enough that it doesn’t detract from your enjoyment of the day and the time together.

I am not just sharing the happy moments and hiding the bad parts of the trip. It really was this lovely.

I didn’t learn all this till recently. I wish for all of you to learn it sooner and model it for your kids. This is what I help others do.

More calm, peace, connection, love, and joy await you and everyone in your world- on vacation and at home and even at work.

Reach out so your vacations can start to feel like this also.