Neurodiverse Love Requires Curiosity
I woke up this morning next to a man I have slept next to most nights since 1992. We celebrated our first Valentine's Day in 1986 and have lived together since 1992.
The epiphany that came to me this morning — long-term love and ongoing harmony require and need ongoing CURIOSITY.
When I/we have gotten into trouble is not necessarily when someone has been sick or struggling.
And not necessarily when we haven't agreed.
And not necessarily when something “bad” has happened.
It has been when I haven't shown up with curiosity.
What would love to do on one’s 37th Valentine's Day together?
Continue to show up curious.
Who is he now? Who am I now? Who are we now?
What does he love? What do I love? What do we love?
I hope to be mindful, grounded, and astute enough to continue asking these questions for years to come.
Asking “good” questions is a strategy I share as a mindful coach. This is strategic curiosity.
I have been sharing the idea of love as a life strategy. Curiosity is also a life strategy.
One that is necessary to truly show up for life with love.
Curiosity is also a main tenet of mindfulness.
So is generosity, non-striving, patience, intention, attention, and nonjudgment.
All of these are helpful tools for loving well
and for addressing what you learn when you are curious.
Whether it's loving yourself or loving someone else (spouse, child, parent, sibling…).
They are also helpful tools for allowing yourself to feel loved. A whole other piece of the pie.
All this to say- Mindful Love is the answer - yet again.
I will be offering my mindful love group coaching program again shortly. We will explore all the tools for loving better, especially in the face of challenges.
I love coaching on relationships. I have recently added coaching couples together on their own relationship and on co-parenting. Coaching is the missing piece to create peace for so many. Gift yourself harmony, peace, and love for Valentine’s Day.
Reach out if you want to work on your relationships- with others or with yourself. Life is more peaceful and fun when there’s more curiosity and more love.