Tell Others What They Should Think About You and Your Decisions

While this may initially sound bossy or controlling, it is not.

It’s strategic and deliberate.

We actually always tell people how to think about our news and stories anyway. We usually do it inadvertently.

The words we use, the narratives we share, and the energy that we share them with are powerful.

Choose them wisely and intentionally.

It helps you. It helps others.

And ultimately it will help change medicine and cultural expectations for the better.

Women physicians at every stage of their careers show up feeling guilty and like a burden when they are pregnant.

In doing so, we perpetuate that culture that pregnant physicians create burdens and more work for others.

It is true that the system has no built-in coverage AND we can stand tall and not apologize for doing normal things.

We can normalize that women in their 20-the 30s have babies and it is something to celebrate.

The culture will begin to shift when we share our excitement and expectations that it will work out well for all with others.

When we show up sheepishly, apologizing for inconveniencing others, and feeling guilty and worrying about the impact on our colleagues, that is the energy and narrative we offer to others.

So please, share your exciting news.

No apologies, guilt, shame, or blame are needed.

If you have ADHD don’t apologize either.

Choose to share the positive side - the ability to hyperfocus and be creative.

If you are at a family event and your current work situation is not good/toxic, tell a story that doesn’t victimize you further. Tell a neutral story. tell a story that you a figuring it out, getting coaching, making decisions….

Tell a story that conserves your energy.

It is not your job to make others feel better, to explain all, to be enraged all the time.

Choose to tell a true story of the situation that empowers you and lightens your load.

If you are leaving a job, tell a story that "it is time" and that you are ready for something new.

No need to over-explain, justify, or convince anyone you are doing the right thing.

Tell them why they should be excited and happy for you.

If all of this seems too hard - please get coaching.

It’s liberating.

It saves your energy for what matters most.

It helps you BE EMPOWERED,

show up as your best self,

and be part of the change we want to see in medicine and in our world.

Be well and have a beautiful day!