Three Generations of Women
3 generations of women together
Post call
In a pandemic
It just might be “the perfect storm”
When you're in it you “of course” you believe it can and should go well. It “should” be wonderful. We want it to be wonderful.
And it doesn't always turn out that way. Someone does and says something that leads to ….
Afterward, you wish it had gone better.
We love our daughters and our moms, our sons, our parents, our spouses
Sometimes despite mind management, mindfulness, and coaching,
relationships and family time is messy.
Two other clients had “perfect storm” moments last week also- no nanny, 2 full-time jobs, a toddler, dogs in training; 3 kids watching TV, everyone tired and tapped out, in a Pandemic
Both had arguments with their spouse.
Both think and wish they had shown up better.
We do the best we can in the moment.
It’s not usually perfect.
Guilt, shame, and frustration —-when we don’t show up as well as we wanted doesn’t lead us where we want to go.
Acknowledging that we are all a work in progress. Perfectly imperfect. This leads us to grace and compassion.
When we treat ourselves and others with grace and compassion, life is much better.
It is normal to wish we had done better.
Being ok with what actually happened is a learned practice.
I had my own family moment recently.
A phone call with my parents, to check on them after they got their covid vaccines.
I thought it should go well. And it didn’t.
I didn’t show up as they thought I should.
And they didn’t show up as I thought they should.
And my husband, who was listening, thought I should have showed up differently/better also.
I tried to be mindful in the moment. And not judge, myself, him, or them.
And I was still upset afterward. And my husband was upset at me.
And this is all ok. It is life. Expecting perfection, and peace, and connection ALL the time is not reality, especially in families.
I can want it to have gone better. And not resist the fact that it didn’t.
Many people tell me my work is like Tara Brach and yet
Radical Acceptance is hard for me.
The twist on it this works for me is—> allowing myself to accept AND NOT LIKE
This gives me my power back.
And helps me feel grounded and in control.
Things don’t always need to be fixed.
They don’t need to be perfect or have gone well.
Grace and compassion for everyone make the frustration flow through and out much more easily.
The disruption much less. And the buoyancy more.
Life is messy and
Life is beautiful.
Love is messy and love is beautiful.
What would love do?
Keep it simple.
Keep loving.
Mindfully
And lovingly
“We are not held back by the Love we didn’t receive but by the love we are not extending.”
To both ourselves and to others
If you want more love, and to feel better.
To stop ruminating and struggling.
And to feel more love, connection, and buoyancy in the sometimes stormy seas…
Consider working with me 1:1 or join my upcoming hybrid 1:1 program, Mindful Love which starts March 15th.
Find out more here.