Love in the Time of Covid

Patience is running thin and irritation is rising in many of our relationships right now.

We are out of our routine and spending more time together.

This brings up good and bad.

"Of course" relationships are coming up as a coaching issue right now.

Everyone is feeling more stress, anxiety, and worry at baseline - even if we have more actual unscheduled time. Many are in uncertain, scary, and/or overwhelming situations.

When mental health issues are involved, it adds a whole other layer.

Times such as this also often bring up existential questions about whether certain relationships are "worth" continuing, especially when we feel our needs are "not getting met by the other person."

A few common themes keep coming up. Mindfulness and coaching tenets as usual offer relief.

Giving up expectations of how others should act and respond isn't about letting them off the hook, it is about making things better for you.

We can only only control ourselves. Your partner or mother or child may may feel similarly -- worried, afraid, overwhelmed or bored-- but may respond differently ie wearing a mask or not, cleaning too much or too little, wanting more or less affection. Take a moment to notice how your loved ones are "just like you."

When your partner, child, mom does that annoying thing again, ask some questions. How are they "just like you" underneath? "What are you making it mean?" "What if it doesn't mean that?"

You can accept things/behaviors/actions even if you don't like them.

Accepting does not mean agreeing. It just frees you up to find solutions. If something has already happened, you can't change it. You can change what you think about it.

Can you accept it for your own peace of mind. When we fight with reality, we lose 100% of the time. Instead choose a story about it you want to tell yourself about what happened- and choose one that serves you -- and then move on.

Forgiveness is for you.

You are responsible for your own happiness. This is freedom.

Feeling love comes from inside you not from what someone else is doing, thinking, feeling. You decide what their action means. You can choose to feel love Why not decide it means something good rather than bad?

A pandemic offers so much "opportunity" to work on relationships by working on ourselves.

When all our routines are disrupted is the PERFECT time to do this work.

Change is all around us.

When this is all over, what if you could go “back” to something much much better.

Reach out if you want this for your relationship.