The birthdays of those you love are a moment to pause and be present and reflect and appreciate.

And as I sat down to do just this, I was inspired by the fact that The Mindful Healers Podcast episode released this week is called “Allowing Joy.”

Some of us have to work at allowing joy, my husband is an expert at it. He does it effortlessly.

“Do not ask your children

to strive for extraordinary lives.

Such striving may seem admirable,

but it is the way of foolishness.

Help them instead to find the wonder

and the marvel of an ordinary life.

A long-time client shared a mantra she has been practicing -- “may I find my path.”

What a kind way to explore your next steps.

Realizing that there is no urgency.

Allowing and giving yourself permission to explore

That is the first step.

If you are going somewhere amazing you can't get there piecemeal.

I NEVER imagined turning 52.

Honestly, it feels great.

I have spent the last few years on an incredible journey to un-become who I was not

and to become who I was meant to be in the first place.

It has not been a piecemeal effort.

It has not been without bumps and struggle and discomfort.

Living life luxuriously is not about spas, resorts or “fancy”.

It is an approach.

.

Living luxuriously is no longer rushing or hurrying.

It is enjoying each moment.

Moving through life with ease.

Getting help has never been an easy thing for me.

I expect this is true for many of you.

My mind likes to tell me I “should” be able to do it all myself.

That self-sufficiency is a measure of strength and adequacy.

That striving and pushing will get me farther.

My to-do list became a birthday list or a “gift” to myself list.

Next week is my birthday and what I most wanted I realized when I listened to my heart- was to NOT have a lot of stuff on my to-do list. To declutter the to-do list.

To have the peace and freedom that would come from having it done.

So I changed my to-do list- to a birthday list.

One I would do FOR ME as a gift.

It’s possible to go from struggling

to managing

to living more easefully

to feeling engaged and connected.

Eat happy. Get a routine baggy enough to live in. Be kind.

Accept that not everyone will like you. Appreciate those who do.

From a place of kindness to self

so much more is possible.

And when we see possibilities

so much more is possible.

May you all live a life filled with kindness and compassion to yourself

It’s so much better than being mean to yourself.

It’s more kind and almost always leads to even more efficiency and productivity.

My nickname used to be “Mama Bear.” And it wasn’t a term of endearment.

I have become a much more loving "Mama Bear" through mindfulness.

Now I show up most of the time with love, calm, compassion, presence, acceptance, and connection

rather than worry, stress, and anxiety, even in very stressful situations.

The old versions were great AND the new versions work faster and often function much more smoothly.

Less wasted time and energy.

Not without hiccups but definitely with less churn.

And they are often lighter, easier to carry, and easier to use.

Their cameras see and capture beauty better than the previous versions.

If you are going somewhere amazing you can’t get there piecemeal.

“The part can never be well unless the whole is well.”- Plato

Choose to create a well “whole.”

Heart, spirit, body, and mind.

This is the why of mindful coaching. This is the why of mindful yoga. And the why of my coaching and yoga retreats.

Experiencing joy requires presence.

It requires allowing. It requires receiving. It requires vulnerability.

And letting go. It is a full-body experience.

One that often moves you to tears.

When you change yourself, you know you can feel better.

When you do the changing,

you get to choose what and how to change.

You have agency and are back in the driver’s seat of your own experience of your life and your relationships.

This feels better.

When you change, everything around you begins to change and shift. The energy of your relationships and situations shifts.

If we realize that inherently things are both good and bad and, for the most part, 50/50 —we can use this to our advantage. We can focus on what is in our control- how we experience the 50/50. This is how we shift the balance and impact our lived experience of our one “wild and precious life.”

What if you stopped waiting for something or sometime in the future and instead started living your life more fully today? Even in the midst of who knows what, what if you chose to make all 7 days of your week extraordinary in some way —right now? What if you intentionally experienced some true joy and connection in each one? What if you decided to be better together? With all the people in your life? This work is the preventive care for a happy, healthy, connected, and joyful life and relationships.

Barriers may be disguised as busyness, a real or perceived issue with your partner, old stories, resentments, “what’s ifs” in your mind, sometimes even a lack of feeling of deserving in yourself.

Coaching and mindfulness have helped me see more of my barriers and begin to let them go.

Pausing and being present was the first step. Then the work was to notice and begin to peel away the barriers with mindful intention and compassion.